The Disruptive Child and the Child Nobody Picked Up: Two After-School Program Problems to Solve Before Day One

Run enough after-school enrichment programs and two situations are guaranteed. A child who cannot function in the group will turn a class of thirty into a class of one. And at the end of a session, a child will be standing in the gym with nobody there to collect them. Both are easier to handle if you decide what you will do before the first class.

How should a martial arts instructor handle a disruptive child in an after-school program? Bring helpers, such as leadership students or black belts, so one adult can work with the child while the class continues. If you are alone, sit the child out in view of the group and keep teaching the children who are there to learn. Then speak to the parent privately at pickup and offer a better setting, such as a free month at your school, where the smaller ratio gives the child a real chance to succeed. At dismissal, never leave until you know where every child is going, and hand any uncollected child to a named staff member at the host school.

Why do after-school programs get more behavior problems than your school?

Because the room is not selected. In your own school, a parent chose your program, met your staff and watched an introductory lesson. In an elementary school program you get whoever registered, in a gym, often with one instructor for a large group.

Many public schools also mainstream children with emotional, developmental and physical challenges into regular groups. There are good reasons for that. Children are not separated out and made to feel they do not fit in. The cost is that it can be very difficult for the instructor, and it can lower the quality of the class for every other child in it.

None of this is the child’s fault. It is a setting problem, and the answer is to change the setting.

How do you keep one child from disrupting the whole class?

The best fix is staffing. Bring a couple of leadership students or black belts with you as assistants. When a child becomes disruptive, an assistant can work with them at the side of the room while the class continues. In your school, that kind of support is normal. In an after-school program it is the difference between a class and a crowd-control exercise.

If you are alone, protect the class. I have run programs with a hundred children and been the only instructor there. In that situation you sit the disruptive child down and keep teaching the children who are there to benefit from the program. You do not want one situation to disrupt the entire classroom.

Two safeguarding rules apply whichever way you do it:

• Stay in view. A child who is sitting out sits where you, the group and any other adult can see them. Never take a child out of the room or into a one-on-one setting to deal with behavior.
• Write it down. Note what happened, when and what you did, and tell the host school’s program contact the same day.

What do you say to the parent?

Talk to the parent privately at the end of the session, at pickup if they are there or by phone if they are not. Be honest about the environment and offer a better one. Something like:

“Ms. Jones, this is admittedly a difficult environment for us to teach in, because there are a hundred kids in the program. What I’d love to do is give Susie a month free at our school. We have a lot more resources there and a much smaller student-teacher ratio, so she’s much more likely to thrive. After the first couple of classes we can see whether it’s a good fit.”

In other words, you are pulling the child out of the after-school class very nicely, and giving the family an alternative rather than a rejection.

It works because it is true. In my experience a martial arts school can accommodate a much broader range of children, whether the challenge is emotional, developmental, autism or a physical limitation, than an elementary school gym can. A child in a wheelchair or a child who is blind is very difficult to serve in a large school program. Once they are in our school, I can almost always find an adaptation that works.

Who is responsible for a child who is not picked up?

Legally and contractually, the host school. Practically, you are, until that child is in someone else’s hands.

It is common for an enrichment program to run with no school staff member in the room. That is fine during class. It is not fine at dismissal if nobody knows who is collecting whom. The standard is simple: do not leave until you know the disposition of every child.

How do you set up dismissal so no child is left behind?

Settle it with the host school before the first session, not while a child is waiting:

1. Get the dismissal list. Know which children go to the school’s own after-care, which walk out with a parent and which ride a bus or carpool.
2. Hand after-care children to the after-care lead in person, by name, every session.
3. Walk the rest to the pickup point if parents are not allowed into the building. Many schools now restrict building access, so plan for it.
4. Escalate an uncollected child to a named person, usually the front office, who will call the family. Do not drive a child home and do not leave a child alone.
5. Log it. Record who was late, who you handed the child to and when.

In my experience, when you walk a child to the front office and ask for help reaching the family, the office handles it. Asking early, with a plan, keeps it from becoming an argument about whose problem it is.

What should be in your after-school program checklist?

• A written agreement with the school covering supervision, dismissal and incident reporting
• Background checks and safeguarding training for every adult and assistant you bring
• Your ratio plan: how many helpers for how many children
• A behavior plan: sit-out location, documentation and parent conversation
• A dismissal plan: the list, the after-care handoff, the pickup point and the escalation contact
• Insurance confirmation for off-site programs

Related reading

• After-School Programs: Why the First Visit Is the First Intro
• How Martial Arts Schools Can Partner With Local Elementary Schools
• Why a Student Reacts Before Anything Happens: Better Classes And Fewer Meltdowns!
• The Hard Case: Autism and Stimming
• Does Your Martial Arts School’s Insurance Cover Abuse Allegations?
• NAPMA Safe Training Environment Checklist

Grand Master Stephen Oliver, MBA, is a 10th Degree Black Belt and the Founder and CEO of Mile High Karate and Martial Arts Wealth Mastery, one of the martial arts industry’s leading coaching and consulting organizations for professional martial arts school owners, BJJ academies, and MMA gyms. A martial arts school owner since 1975 and business coach since 1985, Oliver has spent more than five decades building, operating, and advising successful martial arts schools. He also serves as CEO and Chairman of NAPMA (the National Association of Professional Martial Artists) and Publisher of Martial Arts Professional magazine. A Georgetown University cum laude graduate, he earned his Executive MBA through the Executive Program at the Daniels College of Business at the University of Denver. He was promoted to 10th Degree Black Belt in April 2026 and inducted into the Official Taekwondo Hall of Fame in August 2026. Learn more at MartialArtsWealth.com and StephenCOliver.com.