This month, we are going to examine the “prison bully” story told in last month’s article such that we can profit from its lessons in self-defense. We first need to realize that while those events occurred in the crucible of prison life, the lessons they teach aply to human conflict in any environment. All of these human dynamics as they went down in the prison and the “way of the bully” exist on a continuum.
Here’s a typical example: An RMCAT student wrote to about what happened to her at the office after she returned from our weekend training. She said that “Mr. Jones” came by her desk and smiled and then made his “usual, sexually offensive remarks.” She jumped to her feet and shouted, “I don’t appreciate that kind of talk and I won’t tolerate it any more. Don’t ever talk to me ever again!” She suddenly became aware of just how loudly and forcefully she had projected this demand on Mr. Jones. She saw that he had taken a few steps back from her. Everybody in the entire office had suddenly gone silent. She also saw that the other women in the office were staring at Mr. Jones and not at her. In her letter, she told, “When I think about how I suffered through that man’s abuse for three years and that all I had to do was just what I did, it makes me angry with myself.” Needless to say, Mr. Jones never bothered her again.
Now, it is true that there was little risk to this woman’s personal safety or survival by standing up to Mr. Jones in the comfort of the office, especially when compared to the inmate who stood up to the prison bully. But we need to look at the commonalities here, too. Both of these bullies expected no resistance; they were used to intimidating people and getting their own. Yet, when directly confronted, both “bullies” discovered that they were not really prepared to “back” their bullying and, instead, they both “backed down.”
Since I have brought up this example of sexual harassment, I also feel that I should point out what Laura Kamienski so correctly said in her letter in the September issue of MAPro: “The overwhelming majority of rapes are committed by someone a woman knows.” This is absolutely true and serves as the very foundation of RMCAT?WSD training. Please give this some thought, as well: Isn’t the rapist simply a more despicable and brutal form of every bully?
Laura is certainly correct when she says that rape “is a more complicated issue to confront than simply learning to punch, kick and yell no.” I agree. Women do have special needs that must be properly and specifically addressed in this very important area of self-defense training.
Indeed, the very idea that there is much more to self-defense than just learning how to “punch and kick” has been part of my central message in all of these columns. This is also true of self-defense situation, whether it involves a man or a woman.
It is Proper Combat Attitude, the awareness of both yourself and your enemy’s ways, that is much more critical than physical technique in keeping you alive both mentally and physically in a self-defense situation. This is true in the streets, in your own home, in the office. Anywhere. Did our prison inmate use any physical technique to achieve this objective of mental an physical integrity and survival? No, he did not. Remember, despite the intensity of the conflict with the prison bully, the inmate did not have to strike a single blow.
But what the inmate did have, which was very well-practiced and understood, were the aforementioned attributes of Proper Attitude, Awareness, Adrenal Control, and Knowledge of the Enemy. With these, he did not have to become physical. Without them, he may have to fight physically. Moreover, without having developed these mental attributes and skills, any physical martial arts training he had may not have been accessible or useful to him, Ideally of course, you want your students to develop both of these types of attributes – mental awareness and adrenal control – and skill at basic, yet powerful, physical self-defense techniques.
Next month, we will look more closely at the “tactics: employed in the prison bully confrontation. Strategy is our overall approach – our “master plan” is to achieve victory. Tactics are what we specifically do to effect that plan. Stay alert, my friends, and may peace be with you.
